The Don't List

The Don't List

Things to Avoid if You Don't Want to be the Next Victim

1. Don't go for lonely walks with those you've just disinherited.
   
   
2. Don't sip a glass of warm milk left at your bedside by an unseen hand.
   
   
3. Don't sample the chocolates which arrived by mail, anonymously, on your birthday.
   
   
4. Don't rendezvous with the mysterious stranger who offered you a Dukedom over the phone in a decidedly muffled voice.
   
   
5. Don't follow up on the email message that said that if you contact Proctor and Gilliard, Solicitors, you will inherit a large fortune.
   
   
6. Don't accept hunting invitations from business associates after you have refused to sell them your controlling shares in the company.
   
   
7. Don't attend masquerade balls given by wealthy eccentrics who send the car round to collect you, and insist that you tell no one where you're going.
   
   
8. Don't enter the secret passageway first.
   
   
9. Don't kiss Robert when you have just turned Alex down flat, and he has not yet left the house.
   
   
10. Don't tell the Inspector that you think it nothing more than an unfortunate accident, and police surveillance a breach of your privacy.
    
    
11. Don't stand with your back to billowing draperies, particularly if the windows are shut.
    
    
12. Don't offer to fetch the candles from the pantry if the lights suddenly flicker, dim and go out.
    
    
13. Don't comment that you never realized Renoit painted in watercolors within earshot of the art gallery owner.
    
    
14. Don't suggest that an audit of the books would be in order.
    
    
15. Don't ask Fido what he has in his mouth, and most certainly don't ask him to show you from where he got it.
    
    
16. Don't insist that Madame DeClasse conduct the seance at midnight, in the library, when the moon is full.
    
    
17. Don't adopt young Raymond until you have absolute proof that he is your long-lost sister Ava's only child.
    
    
18. Don't recognize the handwriting on the ransom note.
    
    
19. Don't reveal the ending of the mystery to someone just beginning to read it.
    
    
20. Don't investigate strange noises coming from the basement, late at night, when the electricity goes out.
    

originally printed in Murder Ink, authored by Catherine Prezzano