The day-to-day musings of a frustrated conservative American.

Friday, January 2, 2015

Five Resolutions

Everyone has a different idea regarding what constitutes a "New Year's Resolution" and what does not. I am not a person fond of making such resolutions, nor keeping them once made... that said, I do acknowledge they have a use and serve a purpose.

Rather than the oft-used "Lose weight!" or "Be a better husband!" resolutions, that will either be quickly forgotten or never realized, below are five resolutions I believe everyone should make -- and follow all year long.

1. Give

Give of yourself to someone who needs it. Give money, even a few dollars, to a local women's shelter or chapter of the SPCA; give some food to a church or soup kitchen that feeds the homeless; give old, gently-worn clothes to an organization that re-distributes them to people entering the workforce (i.e., CareerWardrobe -- http://careerwardrobe.org/donate/). What you give need not be great or large in size and scope, but will be extremely well-received and meaningful to the recipient.

"He who waits to do a great deal of good at once, will never do anything." ~ Samuel Johnson

Give... without thought of return or acknowledgement.

"That charity which longs to publish itself, ceases to be charity." ~ Ulrich von Hutton

2. Serve

Take any opportunity that arises to serve others. Maybe you don't have extra food to donate to a church or soup kitchen -- then volunteer a little of your time to prepare or serve the food donated by others.

"Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does." ~ William James

Serve your family. Serve your community. Participate in something greater than yourself, strictly for someone else's benefit. Learn to move in the world with a servant's heart, no matter your 'station' in life.

"What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal." ~ Albert Pike

3. Listen

Talk less. Listen more. Talking is when we make the conversation all about ourselves; listening is when we make the conversation all about someone else. Share fewer opinions, and hear those held by people around you.

"All noise is waste. So cultivate quietness in your speech, in your thoughts, in your emotions. Speak habitually low. Wait for attention and then your low words will be charged with dynamite." ~ Elbert Hubbard

Listening is one of the hardest skills to learn, evidenced by how few people are actually very good at it. When listening, place yourself into the speaker's shoes and try to understand what's being said from their perspective, rather than your own. Your entire focus should be on the speaker, and not on either yourself or anything external to the conversation.

"You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time." ~ Dr. M. Scott Peck

4. Love

As I wrote in an earlier article (http://www.linkedin.com/pulse/article/love-verb-paul-costello/), "love" is a verb. Love someone -- aside from yourself -- every day. When you lay your head on the pillow at night, ask yourself, "How did I love someone today?" If you cannot answer yourself with a concrete example, chances are you didn't love anyone that day.

"Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." ~ Robert Heinlein

Many people perceive love, and marriage, as a kind of sauna: You go in, and the heat does something to you while you are passive. Love, and marriage, are all about doing something, instead of expecting something.

"Love is the greatest give when it’s given… and the highest honor when it’s received." ~ Unknown

5. Be Grateful, Be Humble

Demonstrate gratitude every day for what you have.

"I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder." ~ G.K. Chesterton

Demonstrate humility every day to acknowledge what you lack.

"I believe the first test of a truly great man is his humility." ~ John Ruskin

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By following even some of the advice here,
you will make 2015 less about YOU,
and more about the people around you.
In this way, you will end 2015 a better person
than you entered it.


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